Online Dating True Stories
It Could Happen To You
It Really Could Happen To You
Sent in by JK, Canada
When it's true love, you'll
know it ...won't you? Well this is what I had thought anyway. Maybe a part
of me already knew I was in love and that was why I had such a hard time
asking a lady out on a date. Maybe this was why I avoided social situations
in the first place. I don't really know for sure, but I do know love -
now.
My story begins when a good
friend of mine, Shannon, suggested I try chatting on-line. She had been
on-line for 2 years and was a pro at it by the time she recommended it
to me. As a friend, she knew I had been feeling restless and maybe thinking
about dating again. Her and I had been friends for years, since high school.
She had been there when I married, consoled me when the divorce came, helped
me out with my daughter and son throughout the whole thing, and now, was
ready to help me get "back into circulation" as she put it.
I was nervous as heck at
first. I didn't know the difference between a LOL or BBL when I began.
She was kind enough to come over to my place and together we "watched"
a few chatrooms and she explained what was going on in each of them. Then
she signed me up to an on-line community where she was well-known and very
popular and the next night - her from her house and me from mine - she
brought me into her "circle of friends" introducing me to everyone she
knew.
I felt really awkward - kinda
like a schoolkid - tongue-tied, or should I say all thumbs... She made
sure I felt comfortable, not pressing me to join in, yet including me in
the conversations now and then. I met some really wonderful people that
night. She called me up a couple more nights that week, inviting me to
join her and the "group" in chat and I did. It was nice.
The following week, I went
in alone twice. A few people recognized me as her friend and got me to
join in on a few more conversations which was nice. One night a new person
joined the room and seemed kind of shy so I helped him join in and feel
comfortable too, just like Shannon had done for me.
By the end of the month I
was well-known in our favorite "group", enjoying the fun, jokes, and shared
stories. Being much more relaxed by this time, I began noticing things
I hadn't quite noticed before. Things like, how happy the group always
seemed to get whenever Shannon could join us. Things like, how helpful
she was to other "newbies" to the room, how graceful she was at fielding
unwanted advances without hurting anyone's feelings or damaging any man's
ego. She was very popular, always polite, always bubbly, it wasn't surprising
to see so many people wanting to be close to her - virtually speaking -
and a lot of times I was pressed for information about her by those who
had never met her IRL.
I kept telling everyone the
same thing - that she really was just as nice, just as helpful, just as
friendly IRL as she appeared on-line. Nothing fake about our Shannon -
she really was who she said she was. After a while, though, I began feeling
uncomfortable whenever a man asked me for more information about her. I
even began resenting those who would "hit" on her in the room now and then,
or tease her, or those she would tease back - lightheartedly of course.
At the time I thought it was just a "big brother" complex, since we had
known each other for so long and I sort of felt protective over her.
It was a few more months
before I woke up to what I should have seen and known all along. We went
out for coffee together and conversation turned to some of the antics from
our favorite chat room. She was laughing about "poor Harry" who had tried
so valiantly the night before to get her to agree to a "meeting". She
actually did feel bad about having to turn him down and asked my opinion,
if maybe she should give him a chance and meet him IRL. My gut reaction
was - NO WAY!
She was a bit startled by
my vehemence. "Is there something I should know about him?" she asked me,
thinking I was being my protective old self. When I tried to give her a
reason that's when it hit me. I didn't want her meeting this man, or any
other man ... I was in love ... with her ...
I remember getting pretty
tongue-tied at that point. I couldn't give her a legitimate reason for
not meeting the guy, yet I felt terribly embarrassed for my personal reasons
why I didn't want her to meet him. Never, in the whole time we had known
each other, had I ever felt this uncomfortable with her. She was very puzzled,
and gently pressed me... I don't think I was ready to confess my feelings
- and she let the subject drop.
The following week was total
misery for me - watching her in the chat room being herself - chatting
with her on the phone a couple nights - meeting her for coffee one night...
I felt I had no right to tell her how I felt. She had been there for me
so many times in life, through so many hardships, my friend, my companion,
my pal - it didn't feel right - like I'd be "taking advantage" of her if
I pushed my feelings on her. I began to withdraw.
The next several weeks I
avoided our favorite chat room, kept myself busy taking on extra projects
at work, forcing myself to say no whenever she called up and suggested
grabbing a quick coffee together. I thought I was doing her a favor -
staying away from her so she could have a full life, find the man of her
dreams, all that good stuff...
I guess this went on for
about a month and a half. Then one night I was working late at the kitchen
table with some papers I'd brought home from the office. There was a knock
on the door. I hadn't been expecting anyone so I was quite surprised to
see her standing there (...and looking so vibrant and beautiful too *sigh*...).
"Hey buster!" she snapped
and pushed her way past me inside. "What's the deal?? What the heck is
wrong with you these days?" She turned to face me, hands planted on her
hips, a stubborn light in her eyes. I knew I wasn't going to get off lightly
in this confrontation.
Long story shorter - I confessed.
That's when she confessed she'd always loved me too, that I was the reason
she had never married - no man could "measure up", but that she had never
told me because she didn't want to take advantage of me!
We're married now - have
been for five wonderful months - and yes, I'm grinning ear to ear as I
tell my story here... remembering. And what the heck am I doing in a Dating
Club and telling this story for? Well, I happen to know one of the volunteers
on this site and she asked me to tell it, said others would love to read
it. I dunno... maybe they will, and I guess if it wasn't for the fact that
I owe that friend an incredibly huge favor I probably wouldn't have written
the whole thing down, but this friend introduced Shannon and I in High
School and always knew some day I'd wake up and smell the coffee (as she
puts it). Shannon and her have been friends for years too.
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