Dating Advice & Articles
Playing It Safe Online
Playing It Safe Online
by Linda Alexander, Esq.
The Internet has become the
hot new place for smart, eligible people to find romance, and those looking
for love are swarming into cyberspace. As a result, many individuals have
begun relationships online with people they have not met and know little
about.
With so many people communicating
via the Net and deciding to date virtual strangers, it is important to
be safe and be smart. Common sense can go a long way to keep you safe.
Here are some guidelines for playing it safe:
Watch out for someone who
seems too good to be true.
Begin by first communicating
solely by email or online chat. Be vigilant in noticing odd behavior or
inconsistencies. If someone is evasive, this is a red flag. "Listen" to
your correspondent's words. The person at the other end may not be who
or what he/she says. Trust your instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable,
walk away for your own safety and protection.
Find out as much information
as you can.
Learn to ask many questions.
Find out where he grew up, where she works, and how he is connected to
his community. These are clues to finding out who this person really is.
Be suspicious, if someone is unwilling to reveal any personal identifying
information. Probe any discrepancies in their stories. If your correspondent
is unwilling to answer your questions, this is another red flag. Continue
with a great deal of caution.
Honesty is the key to success.
Represent yourself accurately.
Exaggerating or deceiving is easy online. Areas to be particularly cautious
about are marital status and physical appearance. Begin with a request
for a picture and send them a recent one of you. If someone is unwilling
to send a recent photo, this is warning sign. If he or she continuously
comes up with an excuse, it is because that person has something to hide.
Having a scanned photo is available at Kinko's for less than ten dollars,
so there is no valid excuse for not doing it. After you have exchanged
photos, continue to fill in the gaps, so that the other person does not
create you in their image. Keep it honest.
Talk on the telephone and
continue to learn more about your correspondent. A phone call can reveal
a lot about a person's communication and social skills. It is worth the
cost of the call to protect your security. But do not give out your phone
number to a stranger. Trust takes time to develop. Only when you feel completely
comfortable should you furnish your phone number.
Don't rush into anything.
Meeting someone online and
then arranging a date in a relatively short time can be dangerous. Take
time to find out who this person really is. If someone is pressuring you
to get together before you are ready, this is another warning sign. If
anything feels strange as you get to know this person, then it is time
to back away and look for another match.
If you decide to meet for
a date, proceed with caution. Arrange the meeting on your terms. The following
is a guide to ensure that you have a safe encounter:
Before You Meet
Before you go out with someone
new, it is important to get as much information as you can about the person
you will meet.
1. Always ask for a full
name, address, and telephone number before agreeing to go out with someone
you have never met.
2. Never go out with someone
who will only give you a pager or work phone number. (There is a very good
chance of a spouse in the house.)
3. When someone gives his
or her phone number, find a reason to call unexpectedly. This may help
you to find out if she is married or he is living with someone.
4. Find out where the person
works and if you can call him or her at work.
First Date Know-How
Be careful when agreeing
to meet anyone in person. Set the conditions for your date and do not let
the other person change them. Remember, you really do not know someone
until you spend time with them in person.
1. Always tell someone where
you are going with your date and when you will return. Leave your date's
full name and telephone numbers with that person and write it down. For
a small fee, you can leave information regarding where you are going and
all the pertinent details with a service called SmartDate at www.smartdate.com.
If your date wants you to keep it secret, this is a very big red flag.
Protect yourself.
2. Always meet in a public
place that you are familiar with on your first date. Stay near other people
in a lighted area. Getting together for coffee is a pleasant, casual way
to get to know someone.
3. Never allow yourself to
be picked up from your house. Giving your address out to a stranger is
not safe. Arrange your own transportation so that you can leave if there
is any sign of trouble.
4. Pay attention to everything
that this person has told you about him or herself. If you find out that
your date has lied about anything, this is another red flag.
5. Do not bring your date
back to your house after the first meeting. You do not know this person.
Use the same kind of common sense and rules that you would use in any type
of dating relationship.
Be smart and be safe. Take
control of your future. Know what you are getting into before you invest
your heart, money, or your life. Information is the key.
Linda Alexander, Esq. is
president of WhoisHe.Com and WhoisShe.Com, a professional service that
provides (for a small fee) a personal profile and background check on your
cyber-date or potential mate. WhoisHe.Com furnishes the most current public
record information, usually within twenty-four hours of your request. WhoisHe.Com
has helped thousands of people discover the truth about the people they
are meeting both online and off. For additional information about this
service call 800/503-3756 or send email to CheckHimOut@WhoisHe.Com or CheckHerOut@WhoisShe.Com.
Mix 'n Match Copyright (c)
1999 Match.com Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
*reproduced here with permission*
Now that you've got some
safety tips, be bold. Check out some online personal ads and get ready to write your own. Register at Match.com for free!
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