One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib. Silently she watched him.

As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, skepticism.

Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband.

"A penny for your thoughts," she said.

"It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $46.50."
 

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's
overworked.

A man mowing his lawn sees his neighbor come out of the house and head straight to her mailbox. She opens it, slams it shut and storms back into the house. A little later, she comes out again, opens the mail box and slams it shut. Angry, she goes back in. As the man is getting ready to edge the lawn, she storms out again, marches to the mail box, opens it and slams it shut, harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions, the man asks, "Is something wrong?" To which she replies, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, 'You've Got Mail.'"